Were going to drift slightly away from decorating today.
Well more than slightly!
Let’s talk about menopause.
If you are not going through this you may want to listen anyway.
You are in store for a good time!
I am hoping that if you are reading this, it may make you laugh and realize that you are not going through it alone.
Let’s go back before I started “The Change”.
I have always been a fit person.
But during my High School years I had very poor eating habits.
I think my lunch was a hostess cherry pie, and I am not sure if I even had breakfast.
I wasn’t fat, but I wasn’t fit.
I know, I ate so healthy then!
Well a cherry pie does have fruit in it 😉
Still, I exercised and I knew that if I stopped eating the junk food I would lose weight.
It always came off easy.
Working as a hairdresser for years really messed up my eating habits.
My meals were during a hair process, and if I didn’t have a hair process going on, I would have a 10 minute break to eat.
I never worked out during my pregnancy, I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy.
So I was being very cautious and did not want to take any chances.
After I had my daughter, the baby weight was off after a month!
I slowly started getting back into shape.
And into my 30’s I could still lost weight when I needed to.
But I always stayed close to my ideal weight.
You know, we all have that Magic number.
I’m not going to share mine, but we all have one.
People have always told me, you are so thin, why are you worried about your weight.
Well, I have worked my butt off for many years keeping my weight at bay.
Until one day you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror and say, where did that extra bit of fat on my stomach come from.
And you wonder why, as you are walking you have a little jiggle in your belly.
Things I never, ever experienced before.
We are always told not to weigh ourselves after we reach a certain age.
But I did it, I weighed myself this morning and I really wish I hadn’t!
And BTW why do doctor’s insist on weighing me every time I am in for a visit.
If I have a virus, or whatever, I don’t think how much I weigh matters unless I am really sickly looking which I have never been.
And while we are on that subject why does the scale lie at the Doctor’s office?
It’s always at least 5-6 pounds more than mine is at home….just shoot me now!
The last checkup which was recently I asked my Doctor what I could do about my weight gain.
She told me to make sure you are eating right….check…….and exercise…..check!
I am doing both so why am I not losing weight, but gaining weight?
She told me to exercise more!
Are you freaking kidding me?!
Exercise more?
I work out so hard as it is, but I am giving it one last shot, I will add another 20 minutes onto my workout.
It sounds like a good idea, but the question is can I pull it off?
I exercise because I have to, not because I want to , or like to.
When someone says they like to exercise, I don’t believe them.
I guess they like enduring torture while sweating profusely.
And, I can’t eat any less than I do already.
I have a healthy bowl of fruit and granola each day.
My lunch is a handful of almonds, and a piece of fruit.
Dinner is either black beans, cheese, avocado, with a torilla.
Or chicken with black beans, green onions, and cheese.
Pathetic isn’t it, but at this point I don’t even know what to cook.
I stay away from as much bad carbs as possible.
You know, bread, sugar, stuff like that.
But even after all of that I am gaining weight?
What that heck?!
Maybe it’s the chocolate.
I do indulge in a few pieces of delicious dove milk chocolate every single day 🙂
That’s one thing I have not been able to give up!
And why do they tell us that drinking red wine is good for us?
I can’t even enjoy a glass of wine because of the calories.
And then I ask myself, if I can’t seem to get a grip on my weight, and it keeps going up, even though I am doing all the right things, then what?
I can’t stress all of the time.
I may have to come to the conclusion that my body ain’t what it used to be.
And I may have to embrace the older me.
That’ what my Doctor told me.
She said “Well, this may be your new normal weight”.
Hmmm, wrong answer!
And not what I wanted to hear!
This is a hard one and really hits hard for me.
Well, if you have any advice on going thorough menopause, any secret eating plans or exercises I would love to hear about it.
Oh wow, I haven’t even talked about the hot flashes, mood swings, changes in skin,etc.
Yeah, menopause SUCKS!
Sorry if I have offended anyone, but there is no other way to put it.
And if you are going through it as I am you totally get it!
lol I TOTALLY get it, girl! When I hit 50, I gained 20 pounds…..like overnight! Yikes! I worked out like a crazy woman – following my drs orders, hating every minute of it but knowing it was good for me. But the weight still kept clinging to my saddlebags, my “meno-pot” of a stomach, and suddenly too-large-for-my-favorite-jeans booty, and my jiggly thighs. I felt like I was a disaster. I blamed it on the hormones my dr had put me on for hot flashes. Yep, the flashes were gone, but not the fat. I blamed it on age. I blamed it on my genetics. But it didn’t make the fat dissolve. Until…..I went to see a bio-chemist who tested my saliva and urine and got me on a plan. Then I hooked up with a health coach who is now transforming me slowly but surely…..with no exercise at this point because of my fatigued adrenals. I have learned that stress wrecks havoc with our hormones and weight especially as we age. And your body can’t tell the difference between anxiety-stress or exercise-stress. So now I do deep breathing exercised 4x/day or more. They help “reset” my adrenals so they don’t have to work so hard…thus helps with weight loss. I’m eating more protein now than ever before and have stopped eating any sort of carb or sugar (no bread, rice, pasta, beans, bananas, honey, agave, etc). I bought a food scale and am making sure that I eat 30gms of protein with each meal. I think about every single thing I put in my mouth. I save my white refined sugar for the hummingbirds, and replaced it with erythritol/stevia in my sugar bowl. Yep, it’s a lot of work and not fun at all….but as I step on the scale each week and see a decrease in the number….I realize that I CAN do this. WE CAN DO THIS!! There IS hope, sweetie!!! Really! I’m just putting my head down, plowing forward, and by the grace of God…I’ll be sliding on my favorite boho jeans come autumn. 🙂
I need to find a biochemist! Thank you Laurie! So happy that you are finding what’s working for you!
Here’s the deal. We’re never going to get back to where we were in our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, even our 50’s (I’m 65). Our metabolism is at a crawl, we don’t have estrogen anymore (do not miss having periods), but we also don’t have testosterone, which builds muscle and eats up the calories. Cutting calories is more effective than piling on the exercise in losing weight. But unless you can devote 8 hours a day to pumping iron, like on “Biggest Loser”, you’ll never get back to what your driver’s license still says your weight is.
I’ve been mourning my former self for about 10 years. And, while I”m not always happy when I see myself in photos , I realize that I’m blessed to have lived this long and can enjoy the wellness I experience each day. My only sibling died at 30, and she would take jiggly thighs any day of the week over having missed watching her daughters grow up.
Let’s face it, we don’t have to become “matronly”, we can still be cute, but have to shift our expectations. Be realistic. Decide how much of a sacrifice you’re willing to make in diet and exercise. KEEP MOVING, in whatever way that makes sense for you. Stop looking at models and celebrities as the norm, or what you should aspire to. Do everything in moderation and find the balance you need to be at peace with yourself; your CURRENT self.
I guess I have to face it Diane. But it’s so upsetting. Especially when you get advice like work out harder, eat right. Well I do both and the pounds are creeping up. I would like them to stop creeping up and stay awhile before the next pounds come rolling in LOL!
I was skinny all my life. When I had my son the pregnancy weight came off fast. I didn’t have to make any effort to stay thin. Then I turned 50. It seemed like overnight I gained 10 pounds, had jiggly arms, belly fat and brain fog. There were also significant changes to my skin, hair, teeth and emotions. I am regularly attending Jazzercise classes now and have cut out processed foods as much as possible. I did lose the 10 pounds, but my waist is still thick no matter how much I exercise or how healthy I eat. I still get hot flashes – really hot ones where I turn red and start sweating like crazy. Sometimes this happens multiple times at night when I’m in bed trying to sleep. I turn the thermostat down (really low) in order to sleep peacefully. Also, my libido is nil. I still have intimacy with my husband, but it’s not the same for me. I wish there were a magic pill to make me normal again and hopefully it would taste like chocolate.
Briana I wish there was a magic pill too. I keep hearing from women that are doing all the right things and nothing is working. It’s so depressing!
FYI…I am 65 yrs old too. And I have experienced all of the above?????!!!!! All of it!!!!! And the doctors have told me the same thing. Nothing seems to work!!!!! sigh sigh sigh!!!! My primary care doctor told me recently I could have hot flashes for the rest of my life????? Oh my gosh!!!! When I get them, I end up often times dripping wet with perspiration!!!! blah blah blah. But…I don’t like the alternative. You are so right Diane. At least we are alive and for the most part healthy. Thanks to all for sharing!!!!
JoAnn UGH I have heard that same thing. I may experience this forever….. I am gulp….trying not to think about it.
I thought I would be through with menopause by now, but nope still having the hot flashes.
I never had to exercise, and I could eat as much of anything I wanted, I have to say I was a big eater, but I ate healthy, I didn’t eat a lot of junk food. Even though I didn’t exercise I was very active I swam just about every day I played tennis and golf, I played ball on a team every spring plus I worked 8 to 16 hour shifts at the hospital. Then at age 60 the pounds appeared like overnight, I was in shock I would ask the doctor what is causing this he had no answer, I couldn’t get info. or help from the medical profession that I was a part of for so many years. I think they weigh you so you will think they are monitoring you.
Finally I took the bull by the horn and started dieting in March, I have now lost 50 lbs. and have gone from size 20 to size 14, yeah me!!
That’s awesome Patty!!!! Wow you must look and feel amazing too!
Dear Anne, I can’t believe that you are a menopausal age! You look fantastic. I have a very different outlook on age, health and body changes. When our bodies changed in our teenage years it was normal. When our bodies changed again in our twenties – no pimples – it was normal. Therefore I have taken the view that it is normal for my body to change in my menopausal years (I am not talking about getting overweight due to eating too much). I have lost my hourglass figure and that I miss most. I am not too worried about the few extra kilos.
What is most important for me is my health!!!! Am I healthy and fit for my age (including my weight); Do I have a healthy life style. If all the boxes are ticked I am happy with myself.
A few years ago my kids gave me the following saying:
REAL WOMEN don’t have Hot Flushes… they have
POWER SURGES!
I put it up above my stove and finding comfort in these words when I am sweating over the steaming pots.
Oh I LOVE that! Thank you for sharing Marianne! I am turning 49 next month and I have been going thorough menopause for the last 3 years!
Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. LOL Although change is inevitable, it doesn’t mean we should go down without a fight. I’d love to have my 20’s body back, but, it ain’t happening. I just try to keep the body I have under control. I don’t have as much of a problem with weight as I do with the extra pudge around the middle, and, of course, everything else. There are supposedly 34 symptoms of menopause, and, sometimes I feel like I’m experiencing them all at once.
Just keep doing what you’re doing Anne, and, maybe try a few other things. Staying fit and healthy is the best thing you can do. Don’t stress too much (It won’t help), and, be the best you can be at this time in your life.
LOL Rosemary I feel ya! Yeah I think I have had all 34 symptoms at once too! I won’t give up!
Chin up Anne…I must be the exception. I am fifty (cough cough) five-yikes! Menopause is just a dust cloud in my rear view mirror. I actually weigh 60 pounds less than I did 2 years ago. The magic pill for me??? EAT MORE! (of the good stuff) I used to eat like a bird (not always the right things tho), couldn’t lose an ounce. I needed to get serious about this so I cut out all the bad stuff-sugar, white flour, mayo, etc. Started eating really healthy-fruits and veggies, yogurt, 100% whole wheat. Started counting calories for the first time ever and found I really wasn’t eating enough. Also started eating a big breakfast. In the past, most of the times I skipped breakfast. Got up at 5 AM and sometimes didnt eat till almost noon. They say to eat like a king (or queen) at breakfast and a pauper at supper. Sounds like you are not eating enough. A handful of almonds and a piece of fruit should be your appetizer-not your whole meal. I do let myself eat things I shouldn’t on occasion-I wont ever deny myself something. But the more healthy I eat-the less I want or miss the junk food. Good luck with your journey! AND you do not look old enough to be anywhere near menopause! Remember you are still hot!! Now it just comes in flashes! 😉
Wow that’s awesome Tracy! And yes I agree I don’t eat enough. And it could be the reason I am having such difficulty. I need to start counting calories to see how much I am eating, and how much I need to consume.
Anne, not only am I menopausal, I have perpetual low thyroid levels (due to cancer) that makes it almost impossible to maintain my weight , let alone lose any. I taught Nutrition for many years and still keep up with the latest science. When you eat as little as you are eating your body feels like it is starving and slows down the metabolism even more. Add more exercise to that and it slows down even more!! I agree that you need to eat more, particularly of the right stuff. But the latest research is showing the relationship of the bacteria in our gut to not only weight but to depression, anxiety and a host of other things. The worst thing for our gut is processed food of any kind – try to eat things with 3 ingredients or less listed on the package. The second worst is sugar in ANY form- our body processes all sugars the same – even agave and stevia. Watch hidden sugars in dressings and other condiments and sugar free is worse yet!! I could go on and on! Maybe I should write a post? I will be more than happy to help you come up with some menus if you’d like. Feel free to email or inbox me on FB. There is hope but it is definitely a new normal.
Thank you Caroline! Yes I know, the key to being healthy is eating more. I am slacking in that area. I never know what to eat for lunch so I skip it and snack. But I know it’s not enough.
I find it comforting that you wrote about this. I’m currently going through it too and have been for last couple years. I hate it! The irritability, the hot flashes, belly fat, and screwed up periods!! It is nice to know we are not alone!
I did the whole 30 earlier this year and managed to drop 25lbs and have kept it off. Back on the sugar though which I know is not good but somedays I feel like I could eat a whole box of doughnuts!! I don’t but the thought does enter my mind! LOL
I guess all we can do is embrace it and
get through it and hope for light at the end of all this!!
Traci I have days like that too. I really have cut out so much and resist most temptations. But I have days that a couple of donuts or cookies looks like a great idea…until I get on the scale :-/
Oh dear! I think you’re looking too hard into it, & I’d definitely give the doctor the flick EXCEPT to ask for a script for HRT.
I’m serious, I put up with hot flushes (that’s what we call them in Australia ) for 5 years, then I went onto HRT kicking & screaming, 3 weeks later I felt like a normal person, & I’m staying on it for the rest of my life.
I use a patch not a pill. The patch is much more liver friendly, you change it twice a week, & no pregnant mare gets mistreated to make it, which the oral ones do, eg Premarin is made from pregnant mares urine, I’m serious.
I’ve been on HRT for 16 years & I don’t care if it kills me I’m staying on it.
Quality is better than quantity.
life is too short for hot flushes & mood swings.
Hope this little rant helps you.
Thank you Philippa, I will have to keep that in mind. I glad that it’s helped you, and I agree quality of life is most important.
I’m not an expert… but some of the things you mentioned you are eating could be making you insulin resistant and adding pounds… tortillas, beans, granola … sounds healthy but they have a high glycemic index. Maybe try a paleo approach and follow it pretty strict for 3 weeks and see how you feel. Totally works for me.
Marcy
Thanks Marcy, I will have to look into that one. I have heard of the Paleo diet, but I haven’t researched into it yet.
When my body kept going back to the maximum weight I should be for my height, I thought perhaps that was what I should accept. Then I gained another 12 pounds in a short time and knew that if this continued to happen…. I talked with my doctor and he told me I looked good and not only did he think I wouldn’t be able to lose the extra weight, he didn’t think it would be good for me.
Six months ago I saw an exercise program on PBS called Classical Stretch and decided to give it a try. In the spring through fall months I usually get out and walk and go for bike rides with my spouse. I figured that any weight I was losing during those months was being regained in the winter. If I could stay at the same weight through the winter, then perhaps I’d be able to eventually lose some extra pounds and keep them off.
After just a few weeks I realized that my foot pains upon waking in the morning and that I thought were just a natural part of aging were gone. In a couple of months I realized that the hip and knee pains were also gone. Not only did I keep from gaining weight, I’m now back to the maximum that I should weight for my height.
If you don’t have Classical Stretch on your local PBS channel, you can buy DVDs online, either through her link or Amazon…she even has a monthly subscription you can do online. Each exercise session lasts 25 minutes and I do it 5 days a week. I really hate exercise but this is something I’ve been able to stick with.
I also wonder if you should see a nutritionist or even do some online research about your diet. I’ve totally changed the way I’m eating ever since I was diagnosed with fibroids. It has made a big difference for me.
Wow Jenny that is awesome!Sometimes I wonder what some of these Doctors are saying. Telling you that you shouldn’t lose weight? I will have to search that program, sounds like a good one. And yes I do need to find a nutritionist. My eating habits need to improve.
This gave me a good laugh.
I’ve been in menopause since I was 38. I’m now 46. It’s because of breast cancer. I’m doing great but the menopause effects are annoying.
I think what other people have said about accepting that you’re not going to be the weight or shape you were at 30 again is sensible. Even at the same weight I have a thick layer of fat on my tummy (how’d that get there).
I think we should talk to ourselves like we’d talk to a friend. We’d tell them not to beat themselves up, take care of yourself and accept who you are now and stop comparing yourself to who you were 20 years ago. Be the best 50,60,70 year old you can be and leave the past you to fond memories.
I also like Self magazine “Happy Weight Quiz”. It adds just a little as you age and gives what for me is a healthy and realistic weight.
And don’t fret too much, remember- getting older is better than the alternative 🙂
I am glad I put a smile on your face and made you laugh Melissa. I guess we all need to have a good sense of humor about it, or we would all be depressed and cry. Yes I agree, I need to embrace the fact that things are changing. And I can only do what I can do.
Ugh!!! The dreaded “m” word. Ehen my Dr. told mem2myears ago, I had 2 to 3 years before I was there I wanted to scream!!
This was right on the heals of my diagnosis with a autoimmune disease. GGrrrrrr!!!
But I had to move forward. The treatment for my disease was rough. I lost almost all my hair and the steroids made me gain weight. I went from my usual 115 to 135. WHAT!!!! I felt like a short pudgy thing. But I was alive!!! I almost wasn’t! Over the nest 5 months, my hair started to come back in, a mess of curly hair that this Punjabi descended girl had to learn how to style, and the weight melted away. But so did my muscle tone.
Once I got the all clear to return to my regular routine, I dove in. My trainer but me on a slow warm… build up. 6 weeks of slow working up to my routine of 15 minutes in the am and 15 in the pm . One HIGH intensity workout. Abs one day, upper body the next and lower body and so on… pm was cardio… like dancing to my favourite songs for 15 minutes. Easy right.
And food. I have always been a BIG foodie!!! I eat 5 to 6 small meals a day. Protein for breakfast. I don’t have a cholesterol problem, so I eat an egg almost every morning and coffee, some fruit if I am of a mind. 2.5 hrs later, I am eating again. cottage cheese and fruit/ yoghurt , small salad and protein. Lunch a salad, or a small high protein I have to eat meat . Have to eat high iron due to my problem. I eat dessert… oh yes I do! 🙂 Life is short and I must enjoy it while I can.
My advise to you Anne, is to retrain your metabolism. Eating too little have made it sluggish. Dhaka it up. Mini meals !! I HATE to work out but I desire a lean fit body and have had one all my life. Do I am not going to let it go easily 🙂 My Hollister jeans still fit!! Have to fit and I like the size in the waistband to stay the same. Sooooo… I do my 15 am and 15 pm. 5 days a week (most weeks)
Forget the calories in a glass of wine girl… eat, drink and enjoy!
Big hugs!!
Gee
Gee it sounds like you found a wonderful plan. And yes life is too short! I know I cannot stay away from sweets and things I enjoy…forever. But I just need to get back into shape, stay on track and slightly veer off once in a while 😉
Aw you poor thing – been there and am well over it now. I will tell you it does get better when it’s over – except for the memory thing – what was I saying???. I will also tell you it isn’t fun until it’s over. As far as the weight thing – I was a big lump until I tried the nutritional program that I’ve been on for the last year. And in 9 months I lost four sizes without doing much exercise except walking now and then. And have kept it off. Reading what your typical meals are in a day – I think you need more protein. And need to eat more often. It’s what keeps your metabolism going strong which helps you lose that jiggle. As we age we just need to change up our lifestyle some to stay healthy as we get older. But it isn’t hard to do and it sounds like you like the right kinds of foods anyway. If you want to know more about my nutritional plan, feel free to email me at whimseyj@att.net In the meantime – just keep the thought that in ten years (or so) it will be all better LOLOLOL
Thanks so much Jill! Yes I need to get better at eating. It’s something us bloggers are really bad about, especially me.
I have to tell you Anne, I read everything everyone wrote. I just started about a year ago. I refuse to rxcept the weight gain in my midsection. I have an issue with working out as well as I did do to my MS. Having said that I have to say I’m getting myself back slowly with my Pilate machine. Mine isn’t the $5,000 version. I got mine from QVC. They have made it attainable for normal people and it comes with DVDS. I do it 6 days a week for 45 minutes. It elongates muscles and works every muscle in the body. I swear by this work out and come on you lay down a lot, lol.
Cindy
I refuse too Cindy! I am not going without a fight! Sounds like a great machine! We have a treadmill and a bike.Both kick my butt when I am working out. But I need to kick it a little more, so now I am doing a 40 workout on the bike and treadmill. Alternating, and going as fast as I can. On the opposite days I am doing weight training with a little aerobics too.
I have no response about the weight gain.. I am right there with you… everything they tell you to do, I do.. and still the number doesnt budge. I laughed out loud about the chocolate. I have a small hershey’s almond bar after dinner each day.. it’s dark chocolate..so that’s allowed..right ?? haha yet sometimes I think…maybe if I just cut out the chocolate…. NOT .. anyway.. here’s the only thing I want to tell you … I have ‘done’ the 10 years…. and I am done with all the other symptoms … thank God. There does come a day where you wake up in a good mood and are not really sure why… then you realize you’ve been in a good mood for a week…. hmmmm….. then finally you realize that you came back out the other side… it’s a fabulous feeling !!! the weight things remains, but all the rest really does go away..and you feel like yourself again …. good luck !!
LOL Jeanne! Yeah, chocolate is a hard one to give up for sure, not sure I can do it. Glad to hear that there is another side…and end to all of it. Not sure how close I am too it since I started going through this early. Hoping when I turn 50 next year, I can truly celebrate!
You know me, you have seen me change, you can try everything under the sun you want. I am 55 and have go through it! I gained 40 lbs overnight with changing eating habits or anything. Finally, it has started coming off with strict diet and 4-6 days a week of Jazzercise classes which I love! I dance at least 3 days and do at least 1-2 strength classes there. It is not the old Jazzercise girls! Can I indulge in junk? No! Do I feel better? Absolutely! I have lose 28 of the 40 and am feeling more confident again. I am less crabby, still a little but I do have a 14 yr old. Prayer helps me a lot too, or meditation, whatever works for you. Probably your painting. Be kind to yourself. I think we beat ourselves up too much. You are lucky in that you have a wonderful husband who loves you no matter what! So be happy with that and enjoy your daughter while she is still home before she leaves for college! That’s what I am concentrating on. Just breathe, it does get better and laugh with the rest of us.
Well you look amazing Cecilia! And it sounds like you not only found the right program, but it’s fun too!
HI Anne
I have often thought of writing a blog post on this topic. Its something I am going through at the moment, and I hope it is not something that lasts a lifetime. They say to ask you mom (if she is still here) to see when she started and when it abated. I am about on track with her beginnings and it didn’t last but a year or two. I started about a year ago with the change, with some weight gain and hot flashes at night. Then the flashes stopped. I was feeling quite happy. THen they resumed and have been worse than before. My secret is to have a tower fan by my bed that I can turn on and it has been an absolute life saver. My hot flashes mostly happen at night.
Now I need to figure out about the weight gain. I do think your body may think its in starvation mode, eat more! Eat early. Eat protein. I also think lifting weights will kick up the metabolism and I am starting on that project as we are lucky to have a home gym. The guys have always used it but now its my turn. I also want to do yoga or pilates, and perhaps a swimming program at the local Y when the winter comes.
HRT is a consideration but my doctor will not prescribe it, I have to search for someone. If I cannot conquer it I may go that route.
Best of luck,
Amy
Hi Amy, my Mom doesn’t remember going through the change, so I guess she was very lucky. I wish I took after her because I am feeling just about every symptom. Ha so funny, I too have a fan next to our bed. I never share it in photos, but it’s a standing fan, it helps get me through the night. I don’t always sleep good anymore. Mostly because of the hot flashes, like you that mostly happen at night. I just upped my workout, and added weights to my program.Hoping that will make a difference.